I was talking to a friend today about why every Latino always sabotages an opportunity whether it is for business or pleasure. Just last week I had 3 girls either stand me up or were extremely late for an appt that they set up. One was a future business partner, another was a hooker, and another was a nice girl that I wanted to get to know.
After 15 years of pondering this question I finally have the answer to why it is mandatory that they always shoot themselves in the foot here. It’s fear of success. They don’t feel comfortable when things are going right because of their upbringing and want to go regress back into the world they feel comfortable with even when things are going well.
I thought this would be my Masters or PhD thesis if I went back to school, and I may still write a book about it, but I’ll try to give you guys the “Reader’s Digest” version of this theory as it pertains to sports cuz I know you get bored when the articles get too long winded.
When I was starting out as tennis player, I remember being ahead of some really good players, then my subconscious would say to me “You can’t beat this guy, look at his clothes, his coaching, his money, his experience, you’re just a street punk from Queens that had to sell raffle tickets in order to get your first racket”.
My family thought I was crazy wanting to be a professional athlete, and successful entrepreneur, they wanted me to be a union worker, join the fire dept., etc. They discouraged success. It wasn’t till I realized that I outworked this guy on the practice courts that I accepted the fact that I deserved to beat him. I remember how when push came to shove, and I had that important second serve on match point, that is when you threw the ball up to your eye balls and your knees started shaking and the ball landed in the bottom of the net.
Do you remember the movie The Replacements, when Keanu Reeves was talking about fear and how you feel like you’re in quicksand and you get in deeper and deeper cuz you know you’re in over your head? An athlete or any human being for that matter needs to feel that he belongs accomplishing the task at hand. If he feels that he isn’t worthy of the situation his subconscious will get in the way and bring him back to his comfort zone, whether it’s in sports or in the situation here with the Latinas that can’t appreciate a good business opportunity or a great guy.
I was watching this ESPN thing on Brian Bosworth and he said that he went to Oklahoma cuz he was afraid of the spotlight at Texas. Later on he created “The Boz” to escape from reality into a situation in which he felt comfortable. I had a student who I took to Europe who had it all but he was afraid to win, instead he took all the money his dad gave him for the summer and drank it away with his high school buddies at the local bar. He was afraid to be successful and regressed back to his “comfort zone”.
Take for instance the Villanova basketball team; and these are just my opinions. The point guard who has been brought up to be in the situation all his life has been striving, and the other guy with good jump shot was kinda choking in the last round. He came from a broken home, changed houses all his life, and maybe just maybe, wasn’t ready to be in the spotlight that the Final Four might bring.
Everyone in life must face their demons, some are handed an easy road to the top, and others must fight through their upbringing to be successful. They key however is not to be afraid to be successful. You may want to ponder this when you’re placing your bets at America’s Bookie this week. Look for teams or players that want to win, and feel comfortable in doing so not players that maybe will be scared of the spotlight, crumble under pressure and run away and “shoot themselves in the foot”, and are not afraid of success. Talk soon guys.
