By Frankie the Fan
Happy Valentines Day from America’s Bookie. Two years ago we wrote a very negative article on how many women and girlfriends have destroyed the careers of many athletes, actors and people in general. We have mellowed over the past few years, and want to write about love and the people and things that we truly love, as sports fans and gamblers.
The first thing we love is our favorite sports teams. They are always referred to by the word “WE”. We identify with our teams, they are always there for us, for richer and poorer, through sickness and in health, through thick or thin, till death do us part. Sometimes they may leave you for a few months but you always have another one waiting for you to get you through the long winter or long summer. They truly become part of your family and you feel their pain and successes. You want the best for them even though they sometimes may let you down, but you will always be true. They are your family, and family is always there for you.
The next thing we want to talk about on this day of love is beer. I think it was Ben Franklin who once said,” beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be Happy”. Many a night when I didn’t have a particularly good day, I would turn to my Girlfriend named beer, and she would always put me in a better mood and take away the pain. She is always there for me and always loyal to me (although sometimes I cheat with her with Whiskey or Vodka) Shhhhhhhh, Don’t tell her. Here’s to saying “I Love You” to beer on this Valentines Day.
The next thing we wanted to talk about are dogs. There was an article I read once on which they talked about what is better to have, a dog or a wife, in which they looked at many different categories, such as unconditional love, faithfulness, jealousy, fun to be around, looking good in the morning and other stuff. Dogs were the much better choice overall then wives. The only category in which a wife won was in the category of sex, because unless you’re a member of Congress having sex with your dog is frowned upon in most circles.
Which brings us to the category of sex. That is where the hookers come in. You can pick and choose when and where, price and style, size and shape, age and specialty. You can have one that does one thing very well and another that does another quite well. It’s like vanilla and chocolate ice cream, you may really love vanilla but once in while you may want some chocolate, (variety is the spice of life) and you are the boss.
So as we celebrate this “Day of Love”, let’s give a little love to the single guy who likes to gamble on sports. It seems to me that instead of taking your wife out for an expensive dinner, buying her candy and flowers and diamond rings today, the single guy is better off. He is going to stay home pet his dog, drink some beer watch his team play, win some money at America’s Bookie and then spend it on his favorite call girl to give him a massage and a blow job. Frankie is not the “shaperest tool in the shed”, but it seems to him that the single guy is going to get the better end of the deal today. Enjoy the day guys.